hotel room ftw
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
