Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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