tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
