would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
nutella sex= disaster
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
