did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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