I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
