That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
