shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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