I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
