If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
