addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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