i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
