So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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