hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
