Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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