How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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