Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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