i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
