Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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