It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
