did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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