in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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