i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
