**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
