just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am puke
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
