am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
