Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
