I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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