Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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