Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
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Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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