Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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