11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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