how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
