Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
