So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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