roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
