im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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