its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
