I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
