Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
