my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
