Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
