OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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