Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
