Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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