You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
