jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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