I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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