She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
