So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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