so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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