Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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