new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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