at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
