He felt like a one man threesome
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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