Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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