I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize