getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
