Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
