I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
