And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize