I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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